12th November - not getting anywhere fast

Still off work, have now been signed off until Monday. I am desperate to get back to work but determined, for a change, to be properly well before I go back.
To ease my boredom, and I have to admit, loneliness, the internet has been my friend and companion.
I have signed up to postcrossing and am working on making 5 postcards to send to random stangers in the hope of recieving mail more interesting that bank statements. I'll keep you posted!

Things with the weightloss not brilliant. I guess when I am at home feeling ill is not the best time to try to focus on making plans and starting yet another diet. Saw terry's chocolate orange for sale half price and so brought two. They are not my favourite things and I rarely eat them but did I need two? Now since they were in the house and I was bored and fed up, I ate them. Both. Not at once, but still. What was that about? I haven't listened to Paul in a few days. Think I need to go and get the mind porgramming CD and listen to it again.

I had 3 choclate biscuits with my coffee last night and when I offered one to The Boyfriend, he refused, saying that he was 'making a statement'.
He nearly ended up wearing the biscuits, or having the packet shoved sideways somewhere unpleasant. Did I mention that he had earlier revealed that he had eaten 9 biscuits for breakfast? Any answers as to why this made me feel so angry with him on a postcard please, because I don't really know. All I do know is that in that moment, I really really hated his skinny arsed self for the way he made me feel.

However, to be fair to him, he offerred to come running with me when I am feeling better. I appreciated the gesture but to be honest, I doubt very much that it will happen.

Watched an article about writing letters to your teen self. I wondered what I would write to my teen self and I came up with this:
Dear Pipster Teen Self,

You are a beautiful young woman. Stop looking in the mirror and seeing only imperfections. Yes, you have a curvy figure but your boyfriend is madly in love with what he sees. He will tell you later on in life that your figure made him the envy of every boy in your year. He does love you, in fact he will look back and consider you to be the great love of his life.

You have such honesty and intergrity that you deserve to be proud of yourself. You sometimes do what you think is right rather than what you are told to do, but stay with this, it is what makes you the person that you are.

You are not responsible for what happened to you when you were a little girl. You are allowed to be angry about it, but don't ever feel guilty, no matter how your parents deal with it - that is their battle, not yours. Trust yourself to make the right decision about how to handle it. You are special and you are loved very much. The best revenge is to be sucessful and to have a great life, and you will. He is nothing, he will always be nothing and does not deserve any space in your brain.

Never be tempted to try to change to suit someone else. If someone does not love you exactly as you are, then you do not need them in your life. Sure, lose weight if you need to, but do it for yourself and in a healthy way. Food does not have to be your life. Any other way is a path towards an eating disorder which will get it's claws into you, a demon you will fight with forever.

Don't stop being frightened - but just understand that everyone is frightened sometimes. Just don't let fear stop you from having great adventures.

Trust your instincts. Open your heart to your angels for they are always there for you. You have a special gift which one day you will use to heal people. Don't be scared of it, like your brother is. It's ok, you are being well looked after and always will be.

Love,
Pipster