Emotions

I have recently subscribed to a daily meditation site. My meditation for today is:

"My emotions are a natural part of my being. I give up struggling against them, suppressing and subduing them. They are whatever they are; fear, shame, hurt or anger and as I embrace and accept them they dissolve into the ocean of Consciousness."

This reminded me once of something that a friend once told me. He was a recovering alcoholic and addict and although he had been clean and dry for some years, he lived and breathed his 12 step life every single moment of every day. He said that he didn't mind feeling sad or angry. He said that recognising that he could feel at all reminded him that he was no longer numb to life and all of it's natural highs and lows. When he drank or did drugs he blocked out his feelings, along with his problems. Feeling anger, pain or sadness for him was bittersweet. He was alive, he was feeling. He was living a full life.

When I was meditating daily (I really should get back to doing that!) I learnt how to detach myself from my thoughts and concerns. I could recognise them and let them go. I didn't hold on to the energy. It was a very powerful tool, to be able to still recognise what you are feeling but to not dwell on it in a negative way. Accepting how you feel and allowing yourself to move on, also allows the answers to flow to you from the universe. You know when you just can't remember the name of that actor in the film that you were talking about - but later on when you've stopped thinking about it and you are washing up, the name randomly pops into your head? It's the same. I don't know where the answers to problems come from - I just know that all I have to do is make space in my mind to listen and the answers appear.

Today I finished Day 6 of Dukan Attack phase. I've eaten well and BG have been stable and low all day. I've felt a little low all day but I don't think it's anything to do with the diet.
I've put on half a kilo since yesterday, but that's ok as the downward trend is down and I've lost almost a stone since before I started.

I think I was feeling a little down just because I'm missing DearHusbandToBe. It seems like an age since I've seen him and another age until I will, next weekend. He's at a beer festival today and is busy having fun 400 miles away. Meanwhile, I have spent the day doing chores and chilling out, wondering when he was going to call me.

He hasn't called.

And now that I've figured out what's been bugging me all day, actually I don't mind that he hasn't called. I'm laughing at myself for being so needy today. It's good that I miss him. I must love him, and that's great!

What a numpty. It's time I concentrated on having my own fun!